Post by BleekerBOP on Mar 5, 2006 17:43:30 GMT -5
Chapter 5
Over the next couple of weeks I cant help but be very
distant from my mother...I can't help but be mad at her
for hiding stuff from me, especially if its what I think it
is. Shalin says I should just go up to her and ask her
whats goin on but its not that simple. Whenever she's
home I stay in my room, however shes rarely home
now. I spend most days thinking of what im gonna do if
my father comes back. Its not like I can move out and I
can't move away because then I would be leaving
Shalin and I can't do that. School starts in a week and I
can feel the tension building up, my mom keeps giving
me the "this is for the best" type look now. Its a matter
of time before whatever shes been hiding comes to
light and I can't say that I'm excited. I hear her keys
jingling in the door and quickly try to go up to my room
but she catches me.....shit!
"Chris I need to talk to you"
"I'm kinda tired..."
"Chris I know you've been avoiding me but you need to come here, we have to talk about some things"
Things... I knew this shit was coming eventually,
whenever she wanted to talk about shit concerning my
father she referred to it as "things"....I look at her
and sit back down on the couch. I feel this discomfort
come over me that I haven't felt in a long time and the
feeling was not welcome at all.
"Chris I know that you are suspicious of whats been going on with me and I think you deserve an explanation as to whats been going on..."
She searched my face for some sort of response but I
didn't give her the favor...she was going to tell me what
the fuck was going on and I wasn't gonna make it easy.
"Chris, baby over the past few months i've been really worried, your always daydreaming and sitting in your room for hours doing nothing. I mean the only time you had a sparkle in your eye was when you were with Shalin....I'm trying to do the best I can in raising you but I know there are still a lot of open wounds that I can't fix-"
I look up into her eyes and its as if the words are
written on her eyes...she fumbles with her skirt and
clears her throat as if she is about to announce
something that will make me happy...
"Over the past couple of months i've been seeing your father baby-"
No matter how much I tried to hide my expression and
surpress my reaction to that statement it didnt work. I
looked up at her with such hurt I swear I felt as if I was
about to die..
"He went to counseling and he's ready to make things better for us, he's really changed Chris and I want you to see that and rebuild a relationship with him"
A car door slammed and I watched my mother get up
and walk to the door. I felt a single tear roll down my
face and I quickly wiped it away...this wasn't happening
to me right now. I heard him greet her and the sound
of a small kiss and my body began to shake like the
temperature dropped tremendously. The smell of his
cologne flowed through the air followed by my father
stepping into the den. He hadn't aged much, I noticed a
few grey strands in his hair. He looked at me with a
look of amazement, all I could do was dart my eyes
from his face to my mothers. His eyes began to tear as
he looked at me and then at my mother telling her she
did an amazing job in raising me.
"Hi son..."
My heart beat as if it was going to rip out of my chest
as he inched towards me...I quickly stood up and took a
step back. I watched as tears streamed down his face
and his large frame swelled.
"Chris im sorry...I really am I never meant to hurt you or your mother....I was sick and I got help im better now, I would never hurt you guys like that again I promise you son"
My body stiffened as he grabbed my shoulders and I
couldn't breathe. It was as if somebody punched me in
my gut with a brick. I looked at my mom and then back
at him...
"Dont touch me...."
"Chris just listen to him, things are different now baby I swear"
I looked at my mother in shock as I pushed his hands
off of me. This wasn't happening again, she let him get
in her head but he wasn't gonna get into mine...not
again.
"Are you fucking crazy?"
"Who do you think you are talking to Chris, dont you ever curse in this house"
"Im talking to you ma, he charms you and you instantly think things are going to be different. You dont know if things are going to be different, this is fucking crazy"
"Chris dont you dare talk to your mother like that-"
"Shut the fuck up your not my father, I dont have a father!"
"Chris-"
"No, Chris nothing! How are you going to let him back in our lives now-"
"Because you need a male role model in your life and I love him Christopher"
"I was happy with you....I didn't need anybody else but you and Shalin! and you LOVE him? you love somebody that used to beat the shit out of you?!"
By this point my father was sitting on the couch with his
head in his hands while me and my mother screamed at
each other. I would have never thought things would
have gotten this intense. As much as I hated arguing
with my mother I was pissed and couldnt stop.
"Hes changed and things will be okay now Christopher damnit stop being so stubborn!"
"STUBBORN?!? You never even tried dating anybody once you got divorced! I rather be stubborn than weak!"
Before I could even say anthing else I felt the back of
my mothers hand collide with my face. I stepped back
and looked at her as she covered her mouth in shock
and my father grabbed her. It was almost as if time
stopped, the stinging feeling on my face heightened
and all I could hear was my heart beat. I felt my eyes
burn as I ran out of the house. The sound of my
parents voices yelling for me became muffled by the
wind flowing through my ears. Thoughts filled my head
as I ran nonstop until my legs gave way. I looked up at
my surroundings and realized I was at the beach. I
collapsed to my knees and tears began to flow like
streams down my face. The sound of Love by Keyshia
Cole coming from my pants pocket repeatedly let me
know Shalin was calling me. I quickly pushed ignore as
she must have rung me ten times letting me know she
was aware of what happened. I flipped the phone open
on her last call and put it to my ear as I heard her voice
shaking on the other end.
"Chris where are you?"
I closed my eyes and dropped my head as I listened to
the concern in her voice. I hated myself for making her
worry and now the feelings of hurt and anger grew
even more as I flipped the phone shut and let out a gut
wrenching scream. Why is this happening to me?
Over the next couple of weeks I cant help but be very
distant from my mother...I can't help but be mad at her
for hiding stuff from me, especially if its what I think it
is. Shalin says I should just go up to her and ask her
whats goin on but its not that simple. Whenever she's
home I stay in my room, however shes rarely home
now. I spend most days thinking of what im gonna do if
my father comes back. Its not like I can move out and I
can't move away because then I would be leaving
Shalin and I can't do that. School starts in a week and I
can feel the tension building up, my mom keeps giving
me the "this is for the best" type look now. Its a matter
of time before whatever shes been hiding comes to
light and I can't say that I'm excited. I hear her keys
jingling in the door and quickly try to go up to my room
but she catches me.....shit!
"Chris I need to talk to you"
"I'm kinda tired..."
"Chris I know you've been avoiding me but you need to come here, we have to talk about some things"
Things... I knew this shit was coming eventually,
whenever she wanted to talk about shit concerning my
father she referred to it as "things"....I look at her
and sit back down on the couch. I feel this discomfort
come over me that I haven't felt in a long time and the
feeling was not welcome at all.
"Chris I know that you are suspicious of whats been going on with me and I think you deserve an explanation as to whats been going on..."
She searched my face for some sort of response but I
didn't give her the favor...she was going to tell me what
the fuck was going on and I wasn't gonna make it easy.
"Chris, baby over the past few months i've been really worried, your always daydreaming and sitting in your room for hours doing nothing. I mean the only time you had a sparkle in your eye was when you were with Shalin....I'm trying to do the best I can in raising you but I know there are still a lot of open wounds that I can't fix-"
I look up into her eyes and its as if the words are
written on her eyes...she fumbles with her skirt and
clears her throat as if she is about to announce
something that will make me happy...
"Over the past couple of months i've been seeing your father baby-"
No matter how much I tried to hide my expression and
surpress my reaction to that statement it didnt work. I
looked up at her with such hurt I swear I felt as if I was
about to die..
"He went to counseling and he's ready to make things better for us, he's really changed Chris and I want you to see that and rebuild a relationship with him"
A car door slammed and I watched my mother get up
and walk to the door. I felt a single tear roll down my
face and I quickly wiped it away...this wasn't happening
to me right now. I heard him greet her and the sound
of a small kiss and my body began to shake like the
temperature dropped tremendously. The smell of his
cologne flowed through the air followed by my father
stepping into the den. He hadn't aged much, I noticed a
few grey strands in his hair. He looked at me with a
look of amazement, all I could do was dart my eyes
from his face to my mothers. His eyes began to tear as
he looked at me and then at my mother telling her she
did an amazing job in raising me.
"Hi son..."
My heart beat as if it was going to rip out of my chest
as he inched towards me...I quickly stood up and took a
step back. I watched as tears streamed down his face
and his large frame swelled.
"Chris im sorry...I really am I never meant to hurt you or your mother....I was sick and I got help im better now, I would never hurt you guys like that again I promise you son"
My body stiffened as he grabbed my shoulders and I
couldn't breathe. It was as if somebody punched me in
my gut with a brick. I looked at my mom and then back
at him...
"Dont touch me...."
"Chris just listen to him, things are different now baby I swear"
I looked at my mother in shock as I pushed his hands
off of me. This wasn't happening again, she let him get
in her head but he wasn't gonna get into mine...not
again.
"Are you fucking crazy?"
"Who do you think you are talking to Chris, dont you ever curse in this house"
"Im talking to you ma, he charms you and you instantly think things are going to be different. You dont know if things are going to be different, this is fucking crazy"
"Chris dont you dare talk to your mother like that-"
"Shut the fuck up your not my father, I dont have a father!"
"Chris-"
"No, Chris nothing! How are you going to let him back in our lives now-"
"Because you need a male role model in your life and I love him Christopher"
"I was happy with you....I didn't need anybody else but you and Shalin! and you LOVE him? you love somebody that used to beat the shit out of you?!"
By this point my father was sitting on the couch with his
head in his hands while me and my mother screamed at
each other. I would have never thought things would
have gotten this intense. As much as I hated arguing
with my mother I was pissed and couldnt stop.
"Hes changed and things will be okay now Christopher damnit stop being so stubborn!"
"STUBBORN?!? You never even tried dating anybody once you got divorced! I rather be stubborn than weak!"
Before I could even say anthing else I felt the back of
my mothers hand collide with my face. I stepped back
and looked at her as she covered her mouth in shock
and my father grabbed her. It was almost as if time
stopped, the stinging feeling on my face heightened
and all I could hear was my heart beat. I felt my eyes
burn as I ran out of the house. The sound of my
parents voices yelling for me became muffled by the
wind flowing through my ears. Thoughts filled my head
as I ran nonstop until my legs gave way. I looked up at
my surroundings and realized I was at the beach. I
collapsed to my knees and tears began to flow like
streams down my face. The sound of Love by Keyshia
Cole coming from my pants pocket repeatedly let me
know Shalin was calling me. I quickly pushed ignore as
she must have rung me ten times letting me know she
was aware of what happened. I flipped the phone open
on her last call and put it to my ear as I heard her voice
shaking on the other end.
"Chris where are you?"
I closed my eyes and dropped my head as I listened to
the concern in her voice. I hated myself for making her
worry and now the feelings of hurt and anger grew
even more as I flipped the phone shut and let out a gut
wrenching scream. Why is this happening to me?
My heart is pounding fast!!!!! please keep this story coming!!!!!