Post by AngelicVoices19 on Jun 9, 2004 5:26:09 GMT -5
I don't know if any of you have read this but I found it pretty funny when I did.
WAYS TO KEEP A HEALTHY SANITY LEVEL
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.
3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPER SIZED.
4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."
5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
6. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."
7. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION.
8. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
9. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
10. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."
11. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.
12. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.
13. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA and PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.
14. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
15. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK SOLID.
16. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"
17. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!" (I don't know about this one. Depending on how much you make someone panic, you could end up getting a beat down.)
18. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."
19. AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY SANITY LEVEL SANITY...
SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK, EVEN IF THEY
SENT IT TO YOU.
WAYS TO KEEP A HEALTHY SANITY LEVEL
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.
3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPER SIZED.
4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."
5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
6. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."
7. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION.
8. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
9. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
10. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."
11. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.
12. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.
13. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA and PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.
14. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
15. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK SOLID.
16. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"
17. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!" (I don't know about this one. Depending on how much you make someone panic, you could end up getting a beat down.)
18. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."
19. AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY SANITY LEVEL SANITY...
SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK, EVEN IF THEY
SENT IT TO YOU.