Post by BleekerBOP on Mar 7, 2006 14:13:54 GMT -5
Its been four months since he came back....I haven't
really spoke to him nor my mother since the night of the
argument because I really don't have anything to say
to either of them. He keeps trying to talk to me but I
don't wanna hear it. My mom is all over him, almost
subservient(sp) in a way. Anything he wants, she gets
it for him and its sickening. I spend most of my time at
Shalin's place or at school. Im on the varsity team now
so luckily I get an excuse to be at the court a lot. I
really tried to accept the fact of him being here at first
but I still see shit in him that lets me know he hasn't
changed all the way. Sarcastic comments about the role
of a woman and shit lets me know he still thinks the
same way as he did before. As far as my mom, she
doesn't really talk to me. I guess she's waiting for an
apology but she'll get a "I told you so" way before that.
:phone rings::
"Hello?"
" 'ey baby"
"Sup ma"
"Chillin, I missed u today"
"I missed u too, i'm sorry I havent been around much, coach has us goin crazy"
"Yeah, he's gonna make u basketball robots or some shit lol, hows things at home?"
"The same, nothings changed really"
"Maybe you should try talking to your mom again.."
"She's not talking to me, why should I try and talk to her? She said I'm stubborn but meanwhile shes acting like a little kid ma"
I spoke to Shalin for like 2 hours before we hung up.
She tries so hard to make sense of things for me. I
decided to go online and check some stuff out for
school, I didn't realize it was like 2 in the morning and
he still wasn't home. Same shit different year. Before I
got into bed I looked out the window to see if Shalin's
light was on but it wasn't. Instead there was a smiley
face drawn on the window with I love you written
under it. To most people that would just be what it was
but to me and her it was so much more. The first day I
got here she drew a picture like that and posted it in
her window...except it said you have cooties. I say
we've progressed a lot. I climbed into bed and stared
up at the ceiling trying to map out my thoughts when I
heard a sound I never thought I would hear again....he
was home....and he was screaming.
"I told you earlier that I was going out why are you making such a big fucking deal about it
"Because you've been drinking"
"So what one beer isn't gonna hurt damn"
"By the smell coming from your breath it was more than one beer!"
"Get off of my fucking back damnit, worry about your damn self"
"No I won't get off your back, you shouldn't be drinking"
By this time I was downstairs peeking through the
crack in the door at the whole scene. I watched as they
argued back and forth much like I used to do when I
was little. They went on and on for 20 minutes before it
happened.
"Either you shut the fuck up or I shut you up"
"Do it! Shut me up! your not gonna do-"
I flinched as he smacked her in the mouth. He smacked
her in the mouth? I never thought I would have to think
about this again much less witness it. He quickly bent
down and held her apologizing much like he always did.
I wanted for her to push him away and tell him to
leave. I pleaded with God asking him to deliver my
thoughts to her right now. To give her the strength to
say enough is enough. My prayers just fell back down
to earth and on deaf ears. She returned the kissed he
gave her and he went to the bedroom they shared. I
went into the kitchen and wet a small rag and placed
some ice in a towel and walked back over to my
mother. She looked at me and I bent down and wiped
the small amount of blood from her lip and placed the
ice in her hand and turned around to go back to my
room.
"Chris..."
I turned around and looked at her trying to regain an
image of the strong woman my mother had once been...
"Its going to be okay...."
I shook my head and went to my room and grabbed a
marker and sheet of paper out the printer....I drew a
sad face and wrote underneath it....He hit her. I taped
it to my window and lay in my bed all night. It won't
be okay......
really spoke to him nor my mother since the night of the
argument because I really don't have anything to say
to either of them. He keeps trying to talk to me but I
don't wanna hear it. My mom is all over him, almost
subservient(sp) in a way. Anything he wants, she gets
it for him and its sickening. I spend most of my time at
Shalin's place or at school. Im on the varsity team now
so luckily I get an excuse to be at the court a lot. I
really tried to accept the fact of him being here at first
but I still see shit in him that lets me know he hasn't
changed all the way. Sarcastic comments about the role
of a woman and shit lets me know he still thinks the
same way as he did before. As far as my mom, she
doesn't really talk to me. I guess she's waiting for an
apology but she'll get a "I told you so" way before that.
:phone rings::
"Hello?"
" 'ey baby"
"Sup ma"
"Chillin, I missed u today"
"I missed u too, i'm sorry I havent been around much, coach has us goin crazy"
"Yeah, he's gonna make u basketball robots or some shit lol, hows things at home?"
"The same, nothings changed really"
"Maybe you should try talking to your mom again.."
"She's not talking to me, why should I try and talk to her? She said I'm stubborn but meanwhile shes acting like a little kid ma"
I spoke to Shalin for like 2 hours before we hung up.
She tries so hard to make sense of things for me. I
decided to go online and check some stuff out for
school, I didn't realize it was like 2 in the morning and
he still wasn't home. Same shit different year. Before I
got into bed I looked out the window to see if Shalin's
light was on but it wasn't. Instead there was a smiley
face drawn on the window with I love you written
under it. To most people that would just be what it was
but to me and her it was so much more. The first day I
got here she drew a picture like that and posted it in
her window...except it said you have cooties. I say
we've progressed a lot. I climbed into bed and stared
up at the ceiling trying to map out my thoughts when I
heard a sound I never thought I would hear again....he
was home....and he was screaming.
"I told you earlier that I was going out why are you making such a big fucking deal about it
"Because you've been drinking"
"So what one beer isn't gonna hurt damn"
"By the smell coming from your breath it was more than one beer!"
"Get off of my fucking back damnit, worry about your damn self"
"No I won't get off your back, you shouldn't be drinking"
By this time I was downstairs peeking through the
crack in the door at the whole scene. I watched as they
argued back and forth much like I used to do when I
was little. They went on and on for 20 minutes before it
happened.
"Either you shut the fuck up or I shut you up"
"Do it! Shut me up! your not gonna do-"
I flinched as he smacked her in the mouth. He smacked
her in the mouth? I never thought I would have to think
about this again much less witness it. He quickly bent
down and held her apologizing much like he always did.
I wanted for her to push him away and tell him to
leave. I pleaded with God asking him to deliver my
thoughts to her right now. To give her the strength to
say enough is enough. My prayers just fell back down
to earth and on deaf ears. She returned the kissed he
gave her and he went to the bedroom they shared. I
went into the kitchen and wet a small rag and placed
some ice in a towel and walked back over to my
mother. She looked at me and I bent down and wiped
the small amount of blood from her lip and placed the
ice in her hand and turned around to go back to my
room.
"Chris..."
I turned around and looked at her trying to regain an
image of the strong woman my mother had once been...
"Its going to be okay...."
I shook my head and went to my room and grabbed a
marker and sheet of paper out the printer....I drew a
sad face and wrote underneath it....He hit her. I taped
it to my window and lay in my bed all night. It won't
be okay......
This is sooo!!!!! good!!!!! 
