Post by BleekerBOP on Mar 21, 2006 10:40:04 GMT -5
Chapter 5
Over the next couple of days all I could think about was what MR. Dobson told me...I
didn't wanna leave Tay, I couldn't leave her but I didn't wanna hold her back because of
me. I still saw her everyday but my heart is breaking everytime she talks about school.
How beautiful the campus is going to be and how its going to be me and her...because of
her fucked up parents I know its never gonna happen and I hate lying, especially to her.
She knows something wrong because in a way i've tried to distance myself away from
her....I mean maybe I knew this all along...maybe i'm not good enough for Tay and have
just been denying when its been right in my face...I mean why would her family go
through so much trouble to get rid of me if they didn't see something in me....
"Chris?"
I snapped out of my daze to see Tay looking at me with a worried look on her face...fuck
why did she have to love me..
"Yeah"
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
"Nah i'm sorry ma I was just thinking"
"Its ok, I was thinking maybe we should do one of those college tours to see the campus"
"Tay I really don't-"
"Please Chris"
I looked at her and smiled...at this point I was trying to soak up every feature of her
because I knew I would probably never see her again after the next couple of days..we
finished talking and I told her I would see her later on tonight....this was the last day I
could stand doing this shit to her. I know me leaving her is gonna confuse her but I can't
be the reason she can't go to the one school she's been dreaming about since like 6th
grade. I went home and sat on my bed thinking about how I was going to say it....How I
was going to tell her that I couldn't be with her anymore...I know Tay, and I know she
won't take a bullshit answer and she is going to want to fight for us...but it can't be an US
anymore....I'm not who shes supposed to be with...
That Night
I picked her up usual time and we drove in silence to the beach...I wanted to tell her so
bad what the fuck her pops is doin but I know it will only make things worse...I got out of
the car and walked down to the edge of the water and stood there looking at the stars...I
felt her come up behind me and touch my shoulder...I felt like I was dying..
"Tay we need to talk...."
"O...k"
"I was thinking that umm, maybe we should take sometime off from one another"
The look on her face was just what I expected...she was gonna go off
"What the fuck is this?! Who is the bitch your leavin me for Chris?!"
"There's no fuckin girl I'm just sayin, you can do better than me. I can't give you the shit you need Tay"
"And what is it that i NEED Chris? You sound just like my fuckin father! What about school"
"I'm not going to Morehouse.."
"What are you talking about?! We've been planning this since like the 6th grade Chris what the fuck are you talking about?"
"I don't know if I wanna go to college anymore ok"
"What are you gonna do then huh, be on the corner sellin"
"If thats how I gotta get money then shit"
I knew this shit was pissin her off and thats what I wanted....She and I both knew I could
go to any college I wanted with the 4.0 that I have...
"Get Money?! What is wrong with you....you sound like every other nigga on the street and you know your not like that"
"Tay i'm not going to school, you go to Spellman and have fun but its not for me.....your not for me"
Fuck this hurts....
"Oh i'm not for you? and how is that?"
"Your not supposed to love me"
"You know what Chris....Fuck you ok, you and my father sound just alike....both of you think you know whats good for me and neither one of you fucking do....But you know what maybe my parents were right about you and I was too sprung to see it....your not going to be anything but a fucking loser"
I watched her as she stormed up to the docks and hailed down a cab.....she was gone.
She left hating me and thats what I had to do...I flipped open my phone and dialed her
stupid fuckin fathers number..
::Ring::
"Christopher-"
"I did it"
"I knew you were smart, don't sound so down though. I'm sure there is a hoodrat waiting for you back in your town."
::Click::
I started driving home and looked at my neighborhood....I wasn't destined to be
here...I'm not gonna stay here and amount to shit....I only told Tay the corner shit so she
would leave me alone...I wasn't going to morehouse though...I would be too close to her
and would probably fuck things up...I was gonna get me and my parents out of here and
amount to something....without the one person I love....
Over the next couple of days all I could think about was what MR. Dobson told me...I
didn't wanna leave Tay, I couldn't leave her but I didn't wanna hold her back because of
me. I still saw her everyday but my heart is breaking everytime she talks about school.
How beautiful the campus is going to be and how its going to be me and her...because of
her fucked up parents I know its never gonna happen and I hate lying, especially to her.
She knows something wrong because in a way i've tried to distance myself away from
her....I mean maybe I knew this all along...maybe i'm not good enough for Tay and have
just been denying when its been right in my face...I mean why would her family go
through so much trouble to get rid of me if they didn't see something in me....
"Chris?"
I snapped out of my daze to see Tay looking at me with a worried look on her face...fuck
why did she have to love me..
"Yeah"
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
"Nah i'm sorry ma I was just thinking"
"Its ok, I was thinking maybe we should do one of those college tours to see the campus"
"Tay I really don't-"
"Please Chris"
I looked at her and smiled...at this point I was trying to soak up every feature of her
because I knew I would probably never see her again after the next couple of days..we
finished talking and I told her I would see her later on tonight....this was the last day I
could stand doing this shit to her. I know me leaving her is gonna confuse her but I can't
be the reason she can't go to the one school she's been dreaming about since like 6th
grade. I went home and sat on my bed thinking about how I was going to say it....How I
was going to tell her that I couldn't be with her anymore...I know Tay, and I know she
won't take a bullshit answer and she is going to want to fight for us...but it can't be an US
anymore....I'm not who shes supposed to be with...
That Night
I picked her up usual time and we drove in silence to the beach...I wanted to tell her so
bad what the fuck her pops is doin but I know it will only make things worse...I got out of
the car and walked down to the edge of the water and stood there looking at the stars...I
felt her come up behind me and touch my shoulder...I felt like I was dying..
"Tay we need to talk...."
"O...k"
"I was thinking that umm, maybe we should take sometime off from one another"
The look on her face was just what I expected...she was gonna go off
"What the fuck is this?! Who is the bitch your leavin me for Chris?!"
"There's no fuckin girl I'm just sayin, you can do better than me. I can't give you the shit you need Tay"
"And what is it that i NEED Chris? You sound just like my fuckin father! What about school"
"I'm not going to Morehouse.."
"What are you talking about?! We've been planning this since like the 6th grade Chris what the fuck are you talking about?"
"I don't know if I wanna go to college anymore ok"
"What are you gonna do then huh, be on the corner sellin"
"If thats how I gotta get money then shit"
I knew this shit was pissin her off and thats what I wanted....She and I both knew I could
go to any college I wanted with the 4.0 that I have...
"Get Money?! What is wrong with you....you sound like every other nigga on the street and you know your not like that"
"Tay i'm not going to school, you go to Spellman and have fun but its not for me.....your not for me"
Fuck this hurts....
"Oh i'm not for you? and how is that?"
"Your not supposed to love me"
"You know what Chris....Fuck you ok, you and my father sound just alike....both of you think you know whats good for me and neither one of you fucking do....But you know what maybe my parents were right about you and I was too sprung to see it....your not going to be anything but a fucking loser"
I watched her as she stormed up to the docks and hailed down a cab.....she was gone.
She left hating me and thats what I had to do...I flipped open my phone and dialed her
stupid fuckin fathers number..
::Ring::
"Christopher-"
"I did it"
"I knew you were smart, don't sound so down though. I'm sure there is a hoodrat waiting for you back in your town."
::Click::
I started driving home and looked at my neighborhood....I wasn't destined to be
here...I'm not gonna stay here and amount to shit....I only told Tay the corner shit so she
would leave me alone...I wasn't going to morehouse though...I would be too close to her
and would probably fuck things up...I was gonna get me and my parents out of here and
amount to something....without the one person I love....
Time to break out the kleenex again. ::smh:: 
Love certainly sucks at times, I tell ya...
