Picking My brain

[JUCIEE GUDNESS FROM DA HOOD]

I have a confession to make to you guys and I feel that i can do this becasue y'all are like family and I know that y'all won't steer me wrong.

I don't know if it's me or becasue of the holiday season but I have been feeling depressed a lot lately, I'm thinking that it's due to the holidays coming up and maybe the fact that i'm unhappy with myself. I mean I haven't done anything that i have aspired to do but what I have managed to do is get into debt trying to help out other family members who are supposed to pay me back but they never do, so there goes my credit. My Dumb ASS. That's what I get for being stupid. But tha's not the big problem, I think that I am an ugly slob that need to loose weight, but i have no motivation, I'm working on that. I hate the fact that I am not in a four year university, instead taking classes for a job that i don't want at tht local tech school. Hopefully by next year I'll be in college. I can't find a stupid part-time job and sometimes I think I should just lie down and die!! Really.

My love life in noexistent probably becasue I won't allow myself to fel anything for the guys that do try to talk to me, but it's just that I'm not attracted to them spiritually or mentally. They aren't the ones for me. I try to be open to them and open myself up, but I just doesn't work.

Ok well I'm through babblingfor now but I'm sure I'll be back soon with more of my melodrama!

[~One Of Three~]

Okay you gotta listen to Mama speak...

I've been and am still where you are. I'm Bi-polar and have been for about 5 years now. Being depressed to the level you are is a major thing. I commend you because you reached out, most people don't before they do something drastic. Most people feel it more around the holidays that's normal.

First off, never think you're ugly...you're beautiful no matter what anyone says or thinks. Everyone makes mistakes every now and then trying to be an angel like you did helping your family. As far as losing weight, girl I don't have motivation either, I know I need to get up on Kanye's Workout Plan. I can't find a job either, I've been out of work for 2 years so imagine that. I'm not where I thought I would be in life right now either but I gotta make the best of it.

As for a love life, don't look for one and remember in order to love someone else...remember what LovHer said in their song Girlfriend...the whole DAMN song.

The days when you feel like you should just lay down and die, there's two things I reccommend: Do something that you've been putting off for a while if you have free time or Get out of the house....simple as that. I'm just saying what works for me.

But if you have this feeling more than 3 times a week, don't be afraid to see a doctor. A lot of cities have free mental health services that can cost you little or nothing. I did it and I'm on meds to control my moods and moments. As long as you follow your meds and your doctor's orders you should be fine. There's always a crisis unit number you can call when you feel like you can harm yourself or just call 911 if you can't call a Crisis Unit.

I covered some ground, at least what I could think of right now but I tell anyone if they feel like that most of the time, talk to someone and if you feel like no one is there for you seek professional help, even if it's for a little while and no it doesn't mean you're crazy or a mental case. Some of us just need a little more help to cope with life.

Love ya kiddo!

[JUCIEE GUDNESS FROM DA HOOD]

Thanks Shawn that means a lot!!!!!