Post by AngelicVoices19 on Jul 15, 2004 4:37:13 GMT -5
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I did not succed more often.
17 Times: We will wake the kids
15 Times: It's too late
5 Times: I'm too tired
52 Times: It's too early
15 Times: It's too hot
49 Times: Pretending to be asleep
9 Times: The neighbor will hear us
2 Times: Backache
26 Times: Headache
10 Times: Sunburn
36 Times: Your mother will hear us
21 Times: Not in the mood
17 Times: You will wake the baby
7 Times: Watching the late show
9 Times: Too sore
6 Times: New Hair do
14 Times: Wrong time of the months
19 Times: You had to go to the toilet
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not always satisfactory because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I had finished, and once I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move.
To my Dear Husband,
I think you have gotten things a lil confused. Here are the real reasons you did not get more then what you did:
14 Times: You came home drunk and
tried to fuck the cat.
36 Times: Did not come home at all
21 Times: Did not Cum
33 Times: Came to soon
19 Times: Went soft before you could
get it in
16 Times: Toes in a cramp
38 Times: Working to late
28 Times: You had a rash, probaby from
a toilet seat.
11 Times: Got in a fight, somebody
kicked you in the balls.
15 Times: Caught it in your zipper.
21 Times: Got a cold, your nose kept
running.
9 Times: Your tea was to hot, you
burnt your tungue.
11 Times: You had a splinter in your
finger.
20 Times: Lost the notion after
thinking about it all day
27 Times: Came in your pajamas while
reading a dirty book.
Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still was because you missed the hole and was fucking the sheets. I wasnt talking about the cracks in the ceiling, what I said was..."would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
17 Times: We will wake the kids
15 Times: It's too late
5 Times: I'm too tired
52 Times: It's too early
15 Times: It's too hot
49 Times: Pretending to be asleep
9 Times: The neighbor will hear us
2 Times: Backache
26 Times: Headache
10 Times: Sunburn
36 Times: Your mother will hear us
21 Times: Not in the mood
17 Times: You will wake the baby
7 Times: Watching the late show
9 Times: Too sore
6 Times: New Hair do
14 Times: Wrong time of the months
19 Times: You had to go to the toilet
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not always satisfactory because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I had finished, and once I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move.
To my Dear Husband,
I think you have gotten things a lil confused. Here are the real reasons you did not get more then what you did:
14 Times: You came home drunk and
tried to fuck the cat.
36 Times: Did not come home at all
21 Times: Did not Cum
33 Times: Came to soon
19 Times: Went soft before you could
get it in
16 Times: Toes in a cramp
38 Times: Working to late
28 Times: You had a rash, probaby from
a toilet seat.
11 Times: Got in a fight, somebody
kicked you in the balls.
15 Times: Caught it in your zipper.
21 Times: Got a cold, your nose kept
running.
9 Times: Your tea was to hot, you
burnt your tungue.
11 Times: You had a splinter in your
finger.
20 Times: Lost the notion after
thinking about it all day
27 Times: Came in your pajamas while
reading a dirty book.
Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still was because you missed the hole and was fucking the sheets. I wasnt talking about the cracks in the ceiling, what I said was..."would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
