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Post by Tanee78 on Jul 8, 2004 20:54:53 GMT -5
I was talking to a co-worker of mine, yesterday and the day before. Outside of our job, he has his own business and he does sound for cabaret's, clubs, etc. Me him and another co-worker were talking and my other co-worker was talking about her kids. He knew I didn't have children, but she didn't. She was surprised, because mostly everybody has kids nowadays. They asked me did I want to have kids, and I said, maybe sometime soon. And he kinda shook his head and said somewhere along the lines of make the man wait, or don't be so fast to give in, because they will get what they want, and when you get pregnant, they'll roll out. He said in so many words, these men out here now are trifiling. But he actually said it more harshly. Of course I knew this already but for him to say that to me again confirms to me why I am single and I don't need any drama. He is in his mid-40's and he was just keepin it real. He said the women in the clubs really think that by sleeping with a dude, they'll keep him. He said they'll have these conversations like, "When I whip this on him, He'll stay with me!" He was like, "That's dumb." And he shook his head again. To end, He told me that most of the men he talk to think women are "too easy." I was like dang............If we are too easy, what are they?
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Post by Sweet Meat aka CC on Jul 8, 2004 21:27:51 GMT -5
Your friend sounds like he's pretty coo' and honest. But I get soooooo ill when thinkin' about the double-standards between men and women. If a woman is "easy, loose, etc.", she's known as a ho, but if a man does it, then he's a "playa"! When it comes down to it, they're both "easy"! I have a male friend like that now...he always has a trail of women followin' behind him and the sad part is that these women already know about each otha. All I can do is constantly thank God that I've made it thus far without bein' in situations like this. Oh and while speakin' on this, Lord knows don't let somebody find out that I'm almost 31 with no kids... I get looked at like I'm some sort of alien! I would love to have kids one day (for now my lil' brotha is enough since I helped in raisin' him from the time he was born anyway), but I don't want to have any nooooooooo time soon because I gotta be honest when I say I'm selfish and don't wanna give up the way I live right now: I can come and go as I please, I can spend my money on me and me only, I can use my vacation days how I want without havin' to save them in case the child I have would be sick or somethin', and I thank God that I've never had to worry about becomin' pregnant on accident. And even if that were to happen after all of this time, I DEFINITELY wouldn't do anything to get rid of it because, accordin' to my beliefs, it's WRONG! This would be somethin' I'd juss have to deal with. And I'm also glad that my parents raised me to know that if a baby does come into the picture that's not gonna make the father stick around. I see so many girls I went to school with comin' into Social Services with 4 and 5 kids already with different last names. If they're not embarrassed, I'm embarrassed for them. ::SMH::
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Post by Tanee78 on Jul 9, 2004 9:11:21 GMT -5
I feel you on being single. I think I have done more being single then even when I was out there dating. I have been on trips, even just if we were one day trips. I have a little brother too and with my father not really doing what he is supposed to do sometimes, me and my sister are there to help him. I'm glad I knew (and he just confirmed) how the club scene is. I only have went to one club (and that was to see Dru Hill) and It throroughly disguisted most of the time I was there. It's a shame that some women make it so easy for the men. That's why most of them can't commit, because if someone was to tell them that they wanted to wait to have sex with them, they could go to sister-girl around the corner and get it without the consequences. Even though there are consequences in the end.
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Post by ~One Of Three~ on Jul 11, 2004 18:37:20 GMT -5
I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 30 and we don't have any kids at all. People look at us crazy especially when all our friends have children and we don't. We want them we're just not in the position to have them. Now I've had 5 miscarriages since the age of 16 and I look at that as a blessing because my life wasn't ready for it. It also makes me scared to get pregnant knowing that I may lose it.
I hate the double standard that men and women have about sex. But I do know a lot of girls who do sleep with a man and think because they're having sex with them everytime they come around it'll keep them. Then you see them with a belly or a baby by themselves a few months later and another man on their arm.
If I ever got pregnant by a man and he left, my focus would be me and my child and having a life for the both of us, not trying to reel in the next one to take care of us. That's where a lot of these younger girls and even some older women fail.
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Post by JUCIEE GUDNESS FROM DA HOOD on Jul 15, 2004 2:15:52 GMT -5
That's the truth, I mean when they find out that I am 22 and I don't have kids, that's like total shock where I'm from. I mean the child-bearing expectantcy rate is like 16 here, and if you make it outta school witout kids, then you doing damn good. To the guys around here you are the type to take home to Momma. Son-" Oh momma I met this girl, she 22 and she ain't got no kids!" Mom " OHHHHHHH for real son, you betta marry her, don't let her get away!"
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Post by NinaSky on Jul 18, 2004 4:44:34 GMT -5
THATS SO TRUE MAN! I KNOW HOW YA'LL FEELIN' CUZ I'M STILL SINGLE, NOT PREGGO, AND STILL A VIRGIN. MAN I'M KINDA GLAD I'M NOT PRGGO LIKE MY SISTER THOUGH. DOWN HERE, GURL OF THE AGES FROM 13-18 ARE GETTIN' PREGENT. EVERY OTHER WEEK AT SCHOOL IT'S LIKE "HEY DID YOU KNOW SUCH AND SUCH IS HAVIN' A BABY". I WOULD NEVER WANT PPL TO BE DOING THAT WITH ME SO IT'S KINDA KOOL NOT TO BE PREGENT. BUT AS THE SINGLE THING, I GUEST I'M TOO YOUNG TO TALK ABOUT IT CUZ MR. RIGHT HASN'T CAME AROUND. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY BUT...LMAO.I THINK IT WOULD MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON YOUR BOYFRIENDS MOM IF YOU HAVE NO KIDS,SO WE'RE GOOD.LOL
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Post by Tanee78 on Jul 18, 2004 13:09:51 GMT -5
Please stay a virgin for as long as you can! Don't fall for a sweet talking man that may come and tell you everything you wanna hear! Make them wait and that'll show who is gonna be down and who not is gonna be. Being a virgin is a precious thing, don't let anybody tell you that you need to be doing it, because it's not true. I know you see the example of females getting pregnant and see how the "fathers" of the baby treat them. They are most likely to leave them high and dry! Let them show you that they care, not just say it. Focus on your education and set goals for yourself, because, believe me, there are a million other things you can be doing with yourself than to worry about being in a relationship with somebody.
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Post by *~*Lady K*~*~ on Jul 18, 2004 20:22:20 GMT -5
Very well stated Tanee
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Post by ~One Of Three~ on Jul 20, 2004 4:53:21 GMT -5
Yes virginity is precious. Do it when you're ready and not because some fool talked you into it. I was 15 but I did it by my own choice and not because of peer pressure. My best friend was 15 when she had her son and I met her with a belly. That was scary enough for me. Just make it your decision and not someone elses. That and it HURTS!
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Post by NinaSky on Jul 20, 2004 20:04:38 GMT -5
THANK YA TANEE AND SMILEZ FOR THE ADVICE. IT'S CRAZY TO BE SINGLE BUT I'LL WAIT. I KNOW YA'LL BEEN THROUGH A LOT AND I APPRATE YOU'LL GIVIN' ME ADVICE. THANKS YA'LL,NOW I'LL STAY A VIRGIN.LOL. I BELEIEVE YA'LL TO THE FULLEST AND I HOPE I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT MY TWIN SISTER GOING THROUGH IN LIFE. THANKS YA! ;D
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