Post by Sweet Meat aka CC on Jun 24, 2004 12:01:39 GMT -5
The 19th Baptist Church In Christ Of Latter Day Christians United In Christ On The Top Of The Third Rock Church, & Car Wash Welcomes All This Fine Moanin.
The sponsor for this weeks church announcements is Al's Condoms, & Condiments. From Rubbers, To Relish, Al Has You "Covered"
This Weeks Church Announcements:
Due to an overwhelming response from the original sale, nude photos of Mother Love, & Ruban Studdard will once again be on sale starting on next Sunday morning. For more info, see Sister Daisy Adams. Proceeds from the sale of these photos will benefit the church building fund.
The congregation members that have appeared on the Jerry Springer show more than once will meet in conference room C on today at 2:30
The men with breast larger than Vivica Fox' will be meeting in conference room DD at 4:00 on Tuesday.
Plenty of tickets are still available for the hit stage play "Mama I Just Wanna Shake My Ass & Get Rich Cause I Got Allota Booty Like Beyonce" Tickets are $3 in advance, & $5 at the door.
The woman that look like Al Green will be meeting in conference room A at 3:15 on today.
The woman that look like Al Sharpton meet in conference room B at 3:15 on today.
The men that look like Sojourner Truth will be meeting in conference room B at 1:30 on today.
The woman that look like Louie Anderson will meet in conference room A at 1:00 on this Friday.
The woman that look like Clay Aiken will meet in conference room D at 1:15 on Friday.
Please tune in to the new hit UPN show "Trading Public Housing Spaces" as our own Brother Marcus Lane will be featured on next Saturdays show at 1:00am. He and his neighbor from the 17th flo will be re-docorating each others apartment.
The people with chronic hallitosis will be meeting in conference room A at 4:30 on today. This meeting will me BYOM (bring your own mints)
We are pleased to announce that Sisteh Erma Thompsons granddaughter Tashinkashai Jenkins beat out 14 other contestants on the new UPS reality show "America's Next Top Skeeza." As first place winner Tashinkashai won $5 in cash, a used mink coat, an endorsement deal with Colt 45, as well as a free year supply of weaves, compliments of Tyanas Weave Emporium.
Pasta would like to remind the congregation that tickets are now on sale for the churches annual charity wrestling match. Last years winner, Sistah Mabel Watkins, will defend her title against that lil sissy boy in the choir John, aka Jane. Also, the Ursher boad will have a tag team match against the ladies auxilliary' bake sale committee. And just added, the Sistah with all those ugly ass big hats, will have a nude match in oatmeal against that sistah with all the bad kids whose always late.
The following people are to see Pasta after services today. Your checks bounced from last week. Sistah Lattimo, Brotha Spencer, Brotha Allen, Sistah, & Brother Edwards. Don't forget, their is a $50 fee for all returned checks, & all fee;s must be paid within 1 week, or we will boot your car in the parking lot.
Due to the recent increase in congregation members, & their bad ass kids being arrested, our "bail fund" in dangerously low. Therefore, until further notice, we will only be providing bail money for class 3 misdemeanors & below.
The Sistahs that look like E.F. Hutton will meet in Conference Room A at 2:30 on today.
The Sistahs with ashy ankles will be meeting in Conference Room D at 3:00 on tommorow. (free lotion will be provided)
The Brothas that owe more than $10,000 in back child suppoat will be meeting in Conference Room B at 3:00 on today.
The Brothas that still think it's cool to wear "Member Only" jackets will be meeting in Conference Room C at 4:30 on today.
I have a biblical saying from the book of James, when God said "Let He Who Has'nt Any Teethith, Not Fully Enjoyith The Fruits Of Thyne Labors."
I Am the Rev. KGR, & once again, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
The sponsor for this weeks church announcements is Al's Condoms, & Condiments. From Rubbers, To Relish, Al Has You "Covered"
This Weeks Church Announcements:
Due to an overwhelming response from the original sale, nude photos of Mother Love, & Ruban Studdard will once again be on sale starting on next Sunday morning. For more info, see Sister Daisy Adams. Proceeds from the sale of these photos will benefit the church building fund.
The congregation members that have appeared on the Jerry Springer show more than once will meet in conference room C on today at 2:30
The men with breast larger than Vivica Fox' will be meeting in conference room DD at 4:00 on Tuesday.
Plenty of tickets are still available for the hit stage play "Mama I Just Wanna Shake My Ass & Get Rich Cause I Got Allota Booty Like Beyonce" Tickets are $3 in advance, & $5 at the door.
The woman that look like Al Green will be meeting in conference room A at 3:15 on today.
The woman that look like Al Sharpton meet in conference room B at 3:15 on today.
The men that look like Sojourner Truth will be meeting in conference room B at 1:30 on today.
The woman that look like Louie Anderson will meet in conference room A at 1:00 on this Friday.
The woman that look like Clay Aiken will meet in conference room D at 1:15 on Friday.
Please tune in to the new hit UPN show "Trading Public Housing Spaces" as our own Brother Marcus Lane will be featured on next Saturdays show at 1:00am. He and his neighbor from the 17th flo will be re-docorating each others apartment.
The people with chronic hallitosis will be meeting in conference room A at 4:30 on today. This meeting will me BYOM (bring your own mints)
We are pleased to announce that Sisteh Erma Thompsons granddaughter Tashinkashai Jenkins beat out 14 other contestants on the new UPS reality show "America's Next Top Skeeza." As first place winner Tashinkashai won $5 in cash, a used mink coat, an endorsement deal with Colt 45, as well as a free year supply of weaves, compliments of Tyanas Weave Emporium.
Pasta would like to remind the congregation that tickets are now on sale for the churches annual charity wrestling match. Last years winner, Sistah Mabel Watkins, will defend her title against that lil sissy boy in the choir John, aka Jane. Also, the Ursher boad will have a tag team match against the ladies auxilliary' bake sale committee. And just added, the Sistah with all those ugly ass big hats, will have a nude match in oatmeal against that sistah with all the bad kids whose always late.
The following people are to see Pasta after services today. Your checks bounced from last week. Sistah Lattimo, Brotha Spencer, Brotha Allen, Sistah, & Brother Edwards. Don't forget, their is a $50 fee for all returned checks, & all fee;s must be paid within 1 week, or we will boot your car in the parking lot.
Due to the recent increase in congregation members, & their bad ass kids being arrested, our "bail fund" in dangerously low. Therefore, until further notice, we will only be providing bail money for class 3 misdemeanors & below.
The Sistahs that look like E.F. Hutton will meet in Conference Room A at 2:30 on today.
The Sistahs with ashy ankles will be meeting in Conference Room D at 3:00 on tommorow. (free lotion will be provided)
The Brothas that owe more than $10,000 in back child suppoat will be meeting in Conference Room B at 3:00 on today.
The Brothas that still think it's cool to wear "Member Only" jackets will be meeting in Conference Room C at 4:30 on today.
I have a biblical saying from the book of James, when God said "Let He Who Has'nt Any Teethith, Not Fully Enjoyith The Fruits Of Thyne Labors."
I Am the Rev. KGR, & once again, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!