Post by Sweet Meat aka CC on Dec 29, 2007 2:56:14 GMT -5
What Love Is by Mary J. Blige
Verse one: Beautiful Horrible Magical Terrible Reason to laugh and smile Reason to cry yourself to sleep at night Start a fight Make up, break up Wrong or right Heaven for all it’s worth Can equally be hell right here on earth And no one really knows Anything about it But everybody needs it We can’t live without it Invest, away it goes Darkest day, brightest night Just some other things you might Hear if you ask what love feels like
Chorus: And it feels like joy And it feels like pain And it feels like sunshine Feels like rain An excuse for dying Reason to live And if you don’t know That’s what love is Love is, oh
Verse Two: Gentle kiss Sweet caress Kiss the base Of your neck Argue until my head Hurts I can’t remember what you said Holler Screaming loud Don’t know what we’re screaming ‘bout So confusing Yes it’s true But if it wasn’t there What would we do And no one really knows Anything about it But everybody needs it We can’t live without it Invest, away it goes Darkest day, brightest night Just some other things you might Hear if you ask what love feels like
Break: (That’s love) The only thing that can bring you up Or break you down (That’s love) Can be the sun up in your sky Or the darkest cloud (That’s love) And we need it (That’s love) And we need it (That’s love) Ooh ask anybody How it feels
Post by Sweet Meat aka CC on Dec 29, 2007 3:08:03 GMT -5
“Isn’t she the most beautiful bride you’ve ever seen?” Talia’s wedding coordinator/Aunt Myra asked the rest of the bridal party right after spinning Talia around in the chair she was seated in. Her cousin, Faith, had put the finishing touches of makeup on her face.
“She certainly is,” her best friend, Summer, smiled as she came forward to give her a hug. There was a huge wave of “awws and oohs” that echoed throughout the room.
“Ladies, can you give us a few minutes, please?” Talia proceeded to look up at Summer. Summer took one look at her expression and knew that her best friend was struggling with something.
“Sure,” Aunt Myra answered as she gathered the rest of the bridal party together to lead them over to the door to leave and lineup in the hall in preparation for the wedding that would be taking place within about twenty more minutes.
“W’sup? Oh no, we shan’t have none of that today,” Summer smirked the moment she witnessed a tear rolling down Talia’s cheek once they were alone. She quickly reached for a few Kleenex from the dressing table to wipe her tear away. “Your makeup is too flawless to end up with raccoon eyes.”
Talia heavily sighed. “Summer, be serious for a minute.”
“Uh oh.” She quickly pulled up an empty chair next to Talia and took her hands as she sat down. “What’s wrong?”
“What if I don’t do it right?”
“Be a good wife. I mean this whole marriage thing sounded like a good idea when he proposed to me, but now that it’s really happenin’, I…how am I…?”
“Calm down, girl. That’s just your cold footses talkin’. You’re gonna be a wonderful wife because you’re already a wonderful friend and mother to his child.” Summer smiled while wiping some more of Talia’s tears away.
“You really think so?”
“You better know it. Besides, I’m lookin’ TOO good in my maid of honor gown right now and I’ll be doggone if I have to walk outta here without anyone seein’ me rock it down the aisle.”
Talia shook her head and rolled her eyes as she stood up. “C’mere, fool,” she giggled as she and Summer shared a warm embrace. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, boo-boo.” Immediately afterwards, Summer began to giggle nonstop.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just thinkin’ about how all of this came to be. After all, love can be a funny thing, but what would we do without it?”
Another Saturday night of being alone even though Cliffy knows that I was coming over to spend the night with him. I’ve been with him off and on for about four years now and in that time we’ve been through a lot: I’ve suffered two miscarriages, he finally got his clothing store off the ground a little over a year ago, and I’ve had to deal with his baby momma drama on more than one occasion until she ended up marrying into money. Thank God we haven’t had to deal with her trifling behind anymore.
However, I’ve noticed that in the past six months, Cliffy who’s known to his boys as Meth (I’m the only one that he’ll allow to call him by his government with my own pet name twist on it) has started spending less time with me and more time with “so-called friends” which is why I’m glad that I decided to have my own place due to our on and off again relationship pattern. Several times, I’ve asked him if he was seeing someone else and he always says no. Other times, I wonder if he’s keeping his distance from me because of the miscarriages. The only reason I haven’t questioned him about this is because I have a hard enough time dealing with the losses which cause me to wonder if I’ll ever be woman enough to have a baby.
“What’s up?” he yawned as he stepped in the bedroom where I pretended to be sound asleep. However, I cracked my eye open long enough to see that the clock radio read 4:11 a.m. without him noticing. Turning my back to him, I pulled the covers up over my head.
“Oh I see. You mad?” When he lay down next to me and pulled the covers down low enough to kiss my ear, I angrily sat up and glared at him.
“Did you forget how to use a phone?” I snapped.
“You didn’t get none of my messages?”
“Don’t try to play me, a’ight. My phone didn’t ring once tonight.”
He was about to speak more bullshit when his home phone began to ring. He swiftly rolled over and grabbed it from its base. After giving the ID a quick glance he answered it.
“Yeah, what up?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes as I watched him get up from the bed and walk out of the room while continuing his conversation. But what really pissed me off was when he closed the bedroom door on his way out.
“No his black ass didn’t!” I loudly mumbled as I jumped up from the bed. Angrily flinging his door open hard enough for it to bang upside the wall, I marched into the living room and stood directly in front of him.
“Who you talkin’ to?”
“Man, go on somewhere,” he huffed while holding his hand up to keep me from grabbing the phone away.
“No! I wanna know who you talkin’ to!” After several attempts of trying to snatch it away, he quickly ended his call.
“You need to calm your ass down, Lia!”
“Calm down my ass!” I spat through clenched teeth as I successfully yanked the phone from his grip.
“You done lost your damn mind! Gimme that phone back…NOW!”
I made sure to stay out of his reach as I hit the directory button to get the number from his last phone call. Luckily, the dummy who called him this time of the morning didn’t block their number. If it was one of his boys, I’d deal with the consequences of being insecure about a late-night call later, but somehow, my woman’s intuition kicked in letting me know that I was going to be 99.9% right that it was someone other than one of his boys calling.
The phone rang twice as Cliffy continued to follow me around the kitchen table when a voice…a female voice answered.
“Yes, Cliff,” she huffed.
“This ain’t no damn Cliff. This is his soon-to-be ex, Talia. What I need to know is why you’re callin’ him this time of mornin’?”
Before answering my question, the trick had the nerve to lightly chuckle. “Well soon-to-be ex, I’m his soon-to-be baby’s momma, but I don’t owe you the right to know who I am.”
“Bitch, that’s because you know I’d whup your muthaphuckin’ ass if I knew you!” I hauled off and threw the phone across the kitchen as hard as I could shattering it into pieces as soon as it hit the wall.
“Are you fuckin’ stupid?!!!” Cliffy yelled as he followed me back into the bedroom.
Without answering him, I snatched the double doors of his walk-in closet open and began to gather everything that I owned together throwing it onto the bed. When I had enough things that I would need for the time being, I shoved them into my Gucci garment, rollaway and overnight bags.
“Enough is enough of this bullshit,” I huffed as I began to carry and pull my luggage over to his front door.
“If you leave this time, don’t bring your ass back!”
“Nigga, fuck you! The only way I’d come back is if I knew your cold ass body was layin’ up in here dead so I could spit on it!” With that I slammed the door shut and made my way over to my car to leave.
Post by Sweet Meat aka CC on Dec 29, 2007 3:20:08 GMT -5
Here I am spending another weekend in a city miles away from home sharing what’s supposed to be a romantic getaway up in Homewood Suites by Hilton with a guy I’ve been seeing for the last six months named Howard.
I’ll never forget how we met: I was window shopping at the local mall one Thursday afternoon on my lunch break when I noticed a man that appeared to follow me everywhere I went although he kept his distance. At first, I was a little flattered, but when he followed me into the fourth store which was Books-A-Million that’s when I became annoyed. Thinking fast, I decided to go browse in Victoria’s Secret that was directly across from us. I figured that if I went in there, he’d have no choice but to leave me alone because women know that most men don’t like going up in there unless they’re accompanying their woman. But wouldn’t you know it? This psycho fool followed me inside although he continued to keep his distance. When I turned around and saw him standing near the entrance while smiling at me, I quickly headed in his direction while wearing a stone face.
“Do I know you or somethin’?” I huffed right after reaching him.
“No, but hopefully that can change.”
I wanted to cuss his ass out or say something rude in response to his lame-ass line; but after glaring into his slanted eyes and watching his luscious lips move as he talked followed up by a gorgeous smile, I pretty much became speechless.
He held out his hand for me to shake. “Howard Bailey. And you are?”
I smiled. “Summer Derezerio. Nice to meet you, Mr. Bailey.”
“Please, call me Howard,” he smiled back.
“I find it awfully difficult to be on a first name basis with someone I haven’t even known for five minutes.”
“Well, hopefully that can be changed too.”
Ever since that fateful day, I’ve found myself falling for him although there’s some things about him that I still don’t know. I’ve never been to his home which is a two-hour drive from where I live and where he works. He told me the first day we met that his house was in the process of being renovated which is why he says he’s been staying in this particular suite down in Atlanta until his home is finished. And whenever he takes me out, we always shop, go to the movies, or attend concerts that are miles away from where either of us live. He constantly tells me that he loves to travel and drive to places outside of his normal territory. Another thing is that I’ve never been to his office/studio although he visits mine all the time and the only contact numbers I have for him is his cell and office number. I’ve also never met his family and he’s never met mine which would be hard to do anyway since my mother, my only family, lives in North Carolina. The only other person closest to me that he has met is my best friend, Talia. And as far as Talia is concerned, he’s on her shit list because she swears to it, in her own words, “That nigga’s married!” Being the person that I am, after about four months of dating, I outright asked him if he was married or seeing someone else and he became offended that I would even think to ask him a question like that. That’s when I decided to leave it alone and continue to go with the flow of things.
“Come for me, Summer Rain,” he seductively whispered into my ear before taking it between his teeth as his thrusts became harder and deeper.
Not being able to control myself, that’s exactly what I did, on cue, as always. I couldn’t stand being controlled in this way, but then it was something I couldn’t help because that’s how much I loved him and better yet loved the way he always made my body feel. About a minute or two later after he had been satisfied, he kissed me slow and deep before telling me that he loved me like he always does whether or not we make love. However, that quickly changed as he was getting up from me to go to the bathroom.
“What is it?” I didn’t like the look he had on his face as he quickly reached over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand next to us.
“The damn condom broke! Shit!!!”
“Okay, but I’m on the pill. Remember?” I huffed as I sat up and glared at him. “What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that the pill doesn’t always work and I’m not ready for kids!”
“I understand all that, but it’s not like we haven’t been together for some time now or am I just a convenience for you?”
Instead of answering me, he got up from the bed and went into the bathroom slamming the door behind him.
I usually love Sunday mornings, especially when they’re as sunny and as bright as this one, but after my episode with Cliffy a few hours before daybreak, I couldn’t get my thoughts together. After tossing and turning for a while in my own bed, I decided to get up and take a much needed walk around the neighborhood to clear my head. Before I knew it, I ended up in downtown Atlanta at Starbucks. After going inside, I ordered a White Chocolate Mocha Grande and a Banana Nut muffin. Once the cashier handed my order over to me, I took a seat at a table near the back next to a window. For several minutes, I sipped and nibbled on my breakfast as I watched traffic slowly go by. That’s when I decided to call Summer up to see if she had made it home from her weekend rendezvous yet. However, when she didn’t answer, I figured she must’ve been sharing some extra time with that damn dog of hers.
“All men ain’t nothin’ but damn dogs,” I quietly mumbled to myself as I finished off my muffin. As I was standing to my feet, I heard a familiar voice coming up behind me.
“Not all of us.”
When I turned around, it was my neighbor and one of my regulars at my shop that everyone called Nas.
“Hey,” I smiled with a look of embarrassment on my face.
“W’sup? I was on my way out to my car when I noticed you sittin’ over here all by yourself. Did you walk here or somethin’? Your car was back at the spot when I left home a lil’ while ago.”
“Yeah, walkin’ always helps to clear my mind.”
“Uh oh…you and Meth havin’ problems again?”
A look of even further embarrassment came over my face because Nas’ question made me realize just how many times I had been on and off of Cliffy’s merry-go-round.
“Not anymore,” I managed to smile. “I’m officially done with him and his games.”
For several seconds there was an awkward silence between us.
“Listen, I was on my way back to the crib. Why don’t I give ya a lift back there as well?”
“No, I…,” I replied with a shake of my head until he interrupted me by saying he insisted.
During our ride back home, Nas made sure to keep my mind off of my problem by playing ol’ school rap songs on one of his mix CDs that we rapped and bopped our heads along to. By the time we arrived back at our apartment complex, I was in a great mood. No sooner than I walked inside my place, I collapsed down on my sofa pulling a throw blanket across me and quickly fell asleep.
Post by Sweet Meat aka CC on Dec 29, 2007 3:29:31 GMT -5
“Well, home sweet home,” Howard mumbled upon pulling his car into the empty parking space next to my car.
This was the first thing he had said during the trip back to my place. As for me, I hadn’t said anything during the full two-and-a-half hour drive.
I quickly opened my door and jumped out marching around to the back of his car so he could pop the trunk to allow me to get my Chanel overnight bag out.
Shutting the car off, he took a deep sigh as he popped the trunk before getting out. As soon as he saw me pulling my bag out, he intervened by gently pushing my hands away to lift it out himself.
“I got this,” I snapped as I tried pulling my bag from him although he wouldn’t let me.
“Just go open the door.”
I loudly sucked my teeth as I made my way up the walkway to head over to my condo. After opening my door, I marched inside and walked over to my phone to check my messages. I listened to the six messages waiting for me since Friday night when I left. Four were from my job, one was from Ma, and one was from Talia. After saving each message until I had more time to listen to them, I turned around to see Howard watching me from the open doorway.
“I’m not tryna air condition the entire neighborhood,” I huffed as I walked over to him to shut the door in his face. However, he blocked it from being shut and walked inside.
“How many times do I have to apologize? I told you I admit that was some stupid shit I said this mornin’, but you know I didn’t mean anything I said.”
“Correction…what you DIDN’T say.”
“What?” He followed me into the kitchen where I went to get a much needed glass of orange juice.
“You never answered my question.”
“You never answered if I was just a convenience for you.” When I turned around to face him after placing my glass in the dishwasher, I had tears in my eyes that were about to spill over at any moment.
Running a hand down his face, he walked over to me and pulled me into his arms holding me close. “If that’s all you were to me, then I wouldn’t be here right now loving you with all I got.”
I was coming out of a deep sleep as my cell phone played Mary J. Blige's “Just Fine”. Without opening my eyes, I ran my hand over the coffee table until I felt my phone.
“Hello?” I yawned.
“Hey, I was about to leave you a message,” Summer replied.
“Oh hey, girl. I called you earlier. How was your weekend getaway?” I smirked.
“Girl, please,” she sighed. “You know how that always goes so I’m not gonna even get into it. How did your weekend go?”
I gave Summer a recap of what went down between me and Cliffy. Before I could finish telling her everything, she was already preparing to go open up a can of whup ass on him because she’s never liked the way he would openly disrespect me at times.
“Calm your mad ass down. I told him what I needed to tell him to get the point across that I don’t want to be involved with his sorry ass anymore. But I do need for you to help me get the rest of my things whenever you’re free if it’s no trouble.”
“No trouble at all. I have to show a possible buyer a house first thing in the AM, but I won’t have any more appointments until Tuesday. I just have some paperwork to catch up on tomorrow afternoon which I’m gonna do at the house anyway so I’m up to helpin’ ya out. You free around lunchtime? I’m sure I’ll be done with my appointment by then.”
“Works for me. Thanks for bein’ such a great friend and sister girl,” I smiled.
“Hey, it takes one to know one,” Summer smiled back.